About the plan:
My plan, sort of, is to be like Harriet the Spy and Encyclopedia Brown rolled into one childish and annoying ball of spyism. I should probably admit that Harriet rubbed me the wrong way when I was little, and that I never read Encyclopedia Brown. In fact, until last week, I thought Encyclopedia was a TV character played by Candice Bergen.
But no matter. The point is that I want to solve some of the mysteries that pop into my life every day, like why the lady across the street appears completely batshit crazy but also totally popular? (Answer: she's a dog sitter.) Or, who is the Spanish-speaking guy who talks to us all on the Max line? What is UP with that mansion-house by the Taco Bell on 21st and Burnside -- the one with the pitbulls and all junk everywhere? And neighbor Jason, why does he lurk downstairs on the stoop, and freak me out/pique my interest with a somewhat vague explanation of not being able to work because of "something he might never be able to work through ... no, not horrible depression, I'm sorry, I'm just not allowed to talk about it"??? EEP!
For example, last night: I spent hours trying to find Kevin Mitchell, a pimp who features in a story I'm writing for the somewhat near future. Kevin, by the way, was born on Oct. 22, 1968 and has a son named Sir. Like if I called my daughter Madam.
Aaaanyway. I'll outline the tools I use, because there are a gazillion free tools out there that don't include trying to woo the county courthouse clerk. Perhaps these tools will help you track those elusive exes when they don't update their Facebook.
And the name:
In 1999, a cartoonist from The Seattle Times followed my friend Ella and me around while we back-to-school shopped. Ella wore her hair down and a cute blue button-up; I wore marmish capris and a big fat sweater. I was skinny at the time, and my hair was short. When the cartoon came out, Ella looked bodaciously curvacious, and I looked like an alien boy bug.
P.S. I reserve the right to hunt the Web for tidbits on Sarah Palin. I did that when she was first appointed VP candidate and will therefore continue my hunt on Huffington Post.
